It's wednesday evening and I am returning from office. My lady friend calls me and we decide to meet at cp and go back home together in the metro. It is going to take her another hour to reach and I am hungry. So i decide to get a burger from KFC and follow it up with some chaat. I reach Bindals and find the chaatwala on the park above. I have my chaat and glance at the time. Still 45 minutes to go. So i decide to take a stroll. Now some action begins.
I go to a far end of the park and stand there looking at the traffic, outside the LIC building while some couples make their evening worthwhile just behind me, giving a rats ass to the people in the park. Bored i decide to stroll once again and find a seat. I sit and open my bag, take my ipod out and run my newly downloaded songs on full volume. Life's still good with an ipod and full bass music. Now a mid age uncle, in his mid 40s i guess, very slowly passes by me, stops, looks back at me and comes and sits beside me on the bench. All could be well if this motherfucker would not start looking at me every 10 seconds. I get a little freaked out by this and so decide to get up and walk. But no, this bastard decides he wants to follow me. So i say, "ok man. lets see what u got". I take a u turn and stand, while staring at this motherfucking sob. And he decides to walk away. "good for you asshole". Relieved, i finally find a new bench already occupied, sit and play my ipod once again.
But my evening is far from over. The shit faced pot bellied fucker is still there, standing in front of me towards the right and staring at me. And there is a sardar (mid 30s) standing on my left. This scares the shit out of me. "this is a mugging gang and they are going to rob me of my laptop and ipod today. fuck!", i say to myself, "they are going to follow me and probably knife me in some alley". I decide to put my ipod back in, get up and start walking. As i pass the viginal insect, i ask him "Kya uncle, kya baat hai? kuch chal raha hai dimag me to bata do!" and the guy says "kuch nahi!" and begins to walk alongside me, while trying to strike a conversation. Man i am freaked out like anything by then. and i am scared like hell.
As i take the pathway to the stairs and try to dodge this bastard, i meet a college guy carrying some books. He asks me if i am waiting for someone here or what, because he is new to the city and wants to know something about cp. "goodness gracious", i begin a conversation with him and follow the path down to the main inner circle of cp. the guy tells me he is doing his MPhil from DU and is from Rajasthan. He asks me again if i am waiting for someone and upon my saying no, he tells me someone had told me about this place. I ask, "about CP?", and he says, "No, the park". Curious and a little amused, i smile and ask him what the f can be so special about this god damn freaky park! and thats when the golden words come out - "This park is a GAY park. People come here to seek partners for the night". He laughs at me and tells me how could i have been living in delhi and not know about this. I tell him i am clueless and wonder if this kid is gay. "Why take a chance", i say and decide to take his leave.
The guy holds his hand out for a handshake (just like bros), but as i shake his hand the motherfucking son of a filthy bitch feels my hand! I shake it off and decide to cross the road. I look back and see that old bastard still standing 20 feet away. "Bull crap i am surrounded from all sides". As i am wondering, where to go so i could avoid both these sobs, the college kid comes up to me from behind and says, "are you really leaving or are you staying? cz if you are staying, I WAS THINKING YOU COULD BE A GOOD OPTION FOR ME"..!!!
I smile at him and dash to the metro station, for my life!
I HATE GAYS!!
